Do you want to come in?
by Maano
Summary: "Santana!" I yell after her. She doesn't turn around and I feel my eyes starting to fill with tears. I was sure I had just made the biggest mistake of my life. -Brittana
1. Chapter 1

**This is probably going to be a short-chapter story which I will regularly update on. Just some ideas I needed to get out of my head and write down. Let me know if you like it or not.**

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><p>A normal friday after Glee club, and I'm walking Santana home like always. We don't say much, but it isn't needed. Santana is the kind of friend I can have comfortable silences with.<p>

Our hands swing and occasionally touch eachother. Everytime I look up.

She doesn't.

It was so weird. I always feel so good around her, and I know that she does too, otherwise we wouldn't have been best friends for so long. But lately, something's changing.

I feel like she's pushing me away, and I just seem to need her more and more everyday.

Our hands touch again. This times she does look up at me.

I smile and she hints a smile back.

''Are you okay?'' I ask her. She nods ''Yeah, why wouln't I be?''

''I don't know ..'' I mumble, and we walk further in silence.

As I look up I see that we're almost at her house. I used to come in everyday after school. We would eat all the snacks we could find, watch some funny youtube videos or dance around in the backyard.

I miss those times.

I walk with her to the front door.

''Well, I'll see you soon then '' she says, and she pecks me on the cheek and disappears in her house.

I stay still at the door and sigh.

She doesn't even ask me to come in anymore.

Just six words.

Do-you-want-to-come-in?

I wait for a minute or two, hoping she might change her mind.

But .. nothing.

I look down and step off the porch.

I didn't feel the eyes following my every move.

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><p><strong>Thoughts? Should I continue this or not?<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

''Hey, San.''

She stands in the doorway and smiles at me.

''Brittany? What are you doing here?''

I frown ''Uhm ... I'm picking you up for school, like every morning?''

She can't help but to chuckle ''Britt. It's saturday. We don't have school ..''

_Really?_

_Ooh .. right._

I feel my cheeks turning slightly red. ''Oh, yeah .. I forgot. ''

She shakes her head. ''Just go back to sleep, Brittany'' she hints a smile at me.

''Wait'' I say quickly and she looks at me. ''Why were you up so early?''

Santana sighs ''My dad is bringing Elisa over for today and it had to be 8am..''

I smile. I just love the way she always pronounces names with that cute Spanish accent of hers. Elisa is Santana's half sister, the daughter of her father. The girl mostly lives with her dad, but occasionally stays at Santana's house.

I knew she used to love that Elisa was with them, but the girl is ofcourse growing up too, she's about twelve now, and she has no lack of attitude.

''So .. You need to babysit today?''

''Yeah .. Fun..'' She says sarcastically.

''I can help if you wanna ..'' I ask, kinda hopefully.

''Oh no, Britt you don't have to do that. I'll be fine .. You go and rest some more hours ..''

I bite my lip and nod ''Okay .. If you need me, just give me a call.'' I say, before turning around and walking towards the sidewalk.

I'm halfway the path as I hear the door close.

She doesn't watch me leave.

At home, I'm not sleeping at all. I'm laying in bed in my pyjamas yes, but I'm trying to think really hard.

I have to figure Santana out and I will succeed. At least, I'll try.

I come up with a plan. I'm going to take distance for a while, if she comes to me, great! If she doesn't, well .. then we will have to talk about it.

Which I already know I will not enjoy at all.

So the next monday morning, I send her a text.

**Brittany : Can't pick u up, srry**

I wait patiently for a response, but none comes trough. I sigh.

So complicated.

I decide to take the bike, so I wouldn't run in to her or something. At least not on the sidewalk.

I grab my bag, put in my earphones and ride off.

I take a sharp turn and almost slip over some leaves, but I manage to stay up. Suddenly I wonder why I'm even hurrying, I'm going to be way too early ..

I slow down my tempo a bit and stop at a red light.

_Oh, guess who's there.. _

_Awesome_.


	3. Chapter 3

I hint a small smile at Quinn. She was Santana's other best friend, and although we always hang out together, I don't really like her 90% of the time. She plays with boys' hearts, which is mean, and she always slaps Santana. Which is mean too.

If two head cheerleaders keep fighting on a kind of regular basis, the violence will never stop.

Quinn is actually just mean, but aside from that she's alright I guess.

''Hey, Britt! Where's Santana? Is she sick or something? Coach Sue will kill her if she doesn't show up to Cheerios practice today, even with two broken legs. And did you make that English assignement? I didn't even understand what we had to do! Are you listening?''

I nod.

Oh, I forgot, Quinn also talks a lot.

Like ... a lot ..

''I have to go the light is green'' I say quickly, before hopping on my bike and crossing the street before she could start asking about Santana.

I honestly have no idea what else she was talking about, I zoned out when I heard her name.

I get to school before Quinn and apparently before Santana too, which means I have to go sit with Glee club if I don't want to sit alone.

I don't mind it though, they are my friends and family. I like Glee club.

''Hey guys'' I say quietly and Puck looks up.

''Hey Brittany, where's that hot babe of yours? You made her come so hard she can't come to school anymore?'' He asks wiggling his eyebrows and I try to pull a horrified face.

''No ..huh, eww ..'' I say, trying to sound convincing.

Although the only hought spinning trough my mind is _'If only ...'_

Luckily Mercedes comes to my rescue ''You're such a perv, Puckermann. ''

He winks at her ''That's what I do''

Mercedes rolls her eyes and laughs, and Puck turns back to me.

''But no, seriously Britt. Where is Santana?''

''Here she is!'' I hear a familiar voice behind me shout.

I try really hard not to turn around and I smile at myself as I succeed.

But then I suddenly feel two arm wrapping around my waist and a quick peck on my cheek.

''Where were you, Britt-Britt? I missed you.'' She says, hugging me from behind.

My eyes widen.

_What's happening?_

I try to turn around and she loosens her grip a bit, but doesn't let go, so I'm trapped between her body, way too close, and her arms still holding me.

''I'm sorry .. I .. uh, I wanted to take my bike today.'' I murmur.

Worst excuse ever.

''I have a bike'' she says simply, while shrugging her shoulders.

I try to sound surprised ''Oh, you do? I uh .. I didn't know that ..''

She frowns ''Britt, we went on a bike ride together like, two weeks ago.''

''Oh .. right ..''

She chuckles and lets go of my waist ''Just forget it ..'' she says , hinting a smile and then walking over to the others.

''Looking good, Puckermann'' Is the last I hear.


	4. Chapter 4

''Britt? You okay?''

I slowly open my eyes.

I'm on the ground.

Why am I on the ground?

I vaguely see a face hovering over me.

''Britt?''

I frown and blink a couple times.

''Whyyy am I on the groound ...'' I mumble and the face smiles.

The blur starts going away and I notice it's Santana kneeling down beside me. The rest of Glee club are standing around me.

No, somebody's missing...

Oh, it's Puck.

I suddenly hear some shouting and noises behind me and Santana looks up, rolls her eyes and turns her attention back to me.

''Some assholes were throwing a football and it hit your head.'' She says.

Well, that explains my sudden headache.

I try to sit up but I feel her hands softly pushing me down. ''Wait. Don't move.''

I do as she says.

As always, actually.

''Yo Puck! Get over here!''

I hear some footsteps, and suddenly I'm floating in the air.

I look up and see Puck smiling at me. He just lifted me up like it was nothing. I can feel his strong arms around me and I smile back.

''You okay?'' He asks and I nod.

I'm okay.

''Take her to my car'' Santana instructs him. I feel like I'm flying or something, I'm not even sure if he's actually carrying me ..

I'm probably still kinda out of it.

As we're walking over to the parking lot, I see a guy glaring at Puck. He has a football under his arm, and he's holding a hand over his face, but I can see a little trace of blood by his lip. I try not to grin.

Puck punched a guy for me.

I hear Santana's car door open, and the next I feel is a soft car seat.

I suddenly remember we normally always walk to school, and that this is the first time I know her taking her car.

But well ..

''Thanks, Noah'' I hear her quickly kissing him and my stomach turns.

Not again.

I hear Santana getting in the car and slamming the door shut.

I flinch. That was not good for my head.

''Sorry'' she mumbles.

I hear her tapping on her phone, before she holds it against her ear.

''Mss. Pierce? Hello, it's Santana. ''

I smile. My mom always tells her to call her by her first name, yet Santana still calls her Mss. Pierce.

''No, Brittany fell down, someone hit her head with a football. No, she's awake, she's in my car right now.''

She looks at me and hints a smile ''I think she's okay but not really able to be in class today'' she winks at me and I feel my heart flutter.

She looks forward again. ''You're not home? Oh .. Uh, yeah I can do that .. No, no it's okay. I don't mind. You're welcome. Bye Mss. Pierce. I will, bye.''

She turns around again. ''I'm taking you home, I'll stay with you if you want to.'' She smiles ''She told me to take good care of her baby.''

I hint a smile at her. ''Thanks''

Okay so my plan for today might've failed horribly, but I'm spending an entire day at home with my best friend, so it's not that bad, I guess.


	5. Chapter 5

I guess I fell asleep in the car, because I suddenly wake up feeling two hands softly shake my shoulders. Santana smiles at me.

''Wake up, sleeping beauty''

I feel my cheeks blush a bit and smile back sleepily. ''We home?''

''Yeah, c'mon ..''

She puts one arm under mine and one under my legs and lifts me up. I giggle ''San, put me down ..''

She smiles and I stand back on my feet. I still have a headache, but it's not as bad as before.

''I really don't think I should skip school for this, Santana. '' I say, and she raises her eyebrows at me ''Since when do you like school?''

I thinks for a second and then shrug ''You're right ..''

She walks in front of me to my frontdoor. She takes out the key, it's hidden behind a loose brick in the wall, and opens the door.

''Gimme your bag'' she instructs me, and I hand her my backpack.

''Stay here.''

I only now realise how much she bosses me around actually, but I guess I just don't mind. Don't ask me why, 'cause I wouldn't even know myself ..

She comes back from the kitchen and takes my hand. She chuckles as I flinch and I turn away my head so she doesn't see my blush.

This seriously has to stop.

Like, right now.

She puts a tray down on the table next to the couch and tells me to lay down. I throw off my jacket and lay it over a chair.

She already disappeared again.

''Britt!'' I suddenly hear.

''What tea do you want?''

I frown. She knows what tea I like.

''Green with vanilla'' I mumble, and I sit down on the couch to take off my shoes.

''Oh, right.'' I hear her say.

I look at the tray, it's got a mug on it. It's not my mug.

This is so weird.

I pick up the mug and take it to the kitchen.

Santana looks up as I enter the room and opens her mouth to say something, but closes it as I hold up the mug.

''San. This is my mother's mug.''

''Oh'' she says, a bit confused. ''Sorry, I didn't know that.'' She takes the mug from me and puts it back in the cabinet.

''Yes, you did. You know what tea I like, and you know I always drink tea out of the same mug. You gave me my mom's coffee mug.''

I see Santana biting her lip and looking down.

''San, what's going on with you?''

She sighs softly. ''I dunno ..''

''You don't have amensia or something, do you?''

She chuckles ''I do not have amnesia, Brittany.''

I hint a smile at her. I love how she never really corrects me if I say a word wrong, she just says it again, so I know it for the next time.

Not that I'll ever use the word amensia again ..

Amnesia, I mean.

Now this is an uncomfortable silence. The old fashioned water boiler rescues us, thankfully. It starts screaming and I cover my ears. Santana quickly turns off the fire and pours the hot water into another mug.

The right one, this time.

''Santana?''

''Hmm?'' She doesn't look up, she's trying not to mess boiling water everywhere.

''I have to talk to you.''


	6. Chapter 6

**tumblr : maanofanfic**

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><p>Santana frowns a bit anxiously. ''Okaay ...''<p>

I sign that she has to follow me and I sit down on the couch, crossing my legs beneath me. She awkwardly sits down on the other edge of the couch.

I sigh and think about how I'm going to bring this. I don't want to sounds overly needy or dramatic, but I do want her to get the message.

''You're being weird'' I eventually say.

Not exactly the best I could do, but she wast just staring at me and I couldn't take it anymore.

Santana raises her eyebrows ''I'm being weird?''

''Myeah ..'' I nod.

''Like how?''

''Like ...When was the last time I was in your house?''

She frowns ''Uh .. last week ..''

I think for a second.

Was I ...?

No ..

''No, I was at your house, to pick you up and drop you off from school. I used to come in everyday and one day you stopped inviting me and that makes me sad ..''

"Well, okay'' she begins ''If you want to stop by again after school then you can .. But I don't see why you're making this such a big deal .. It's not like you can possibly miss me or something, you practically see me everyday.''

Hmm.

I guess I didn't thought about it that way.

''Are you back together with Puck?'' I suddenly blurt out, and she looks at me with a frown. I can't figure out if she's shocked or surprised or she just doesn't know why I ask her that.

''Yeah .. I guess .. I mean, kinda .. Sometimes. Why?''

''I just .. What do you mean with 'sometimes'?''

She sighs and bites her lip ''I don't know .. Until he cheats on me again?''

''He's not good enough for you, Santana. It hurts you that he acts like that and it hurts me seeing you sad so stop hurting me..''

She stares at me ''Britt ..''

''No .. He's not good enough for you ..'' I say quietly.

She looks down. ''You want me to break up with him?''

''Yes ..''

''Because he's not good enough for me?''

''...yeah''

''You sure you're not just missing my sweet lady kisses?''

She asks the question like she already knows the answer.

I gulp.

This wasn't supposed to turn out this way.


	7. Chapter 7

_''Are you sure you don't just miss my sweet lady kisses?''._

_She asks the question like she already knows the answer. _

_I gulp._

_This wasn't supposed to turn out this way. _

She raises one eyebrow, expecting an answer from me.

''No'' I eventually manage to get out. My voice doesn't sound convincing, rather shaky and unsure.

''Britt .. You know we can't do that, it's just wrong.''

''But ..''

''No ..'' she says with a strong voice, but I can see in her eyes that she knows she's hurting me and that she hates it.

I have to get away from her, I don't know what I'm going to do if I have to stare at her for much longer.

I quickly stand up. A bit too quickly, I blink a couple of times and grab the side of the couch. I see her getting up and wanting to support me, but I manage to pull myself up again and I run to the hall.

Not a good idea.

I suddenly feel dizzy and light headed. I try to find support on the wall, but my legs are like pudding, and I slide down to the ground.

This was not going well at all ..

I pull up my knees and rest my face in my arms. As I try to hold back tears, I try to calm down a bit by breathing in and out deeply.

It doesn't help, a couple of seconds later I feel the first tear roll down my cheek.

I hear her footsteps but don't look up.

She doesn't say anything. She just puts an arm around me and sits down next to me.

I don't pull away, I'm more sad than angry right now.

''Britt-Britt ..'' she whispers.

I don't look up. I don't want her to see me like this. Even though she did a million times before .. Not like this.

She strikes her fingers trough my hair and makes me shiver.

''Hey ... Don't be sad .. It's okay ..'' She says quietly, and she shifts a bit closer to me.

I softly shake my head, but I guess she noticed it.

It's quiet for a minute. There's only her breathing and my sobbing to hear.

"Chiquitita, tell me what's wrooong...''

I suddenly hear her sing softly and I can't help but to smile a little, even though I'm trying really hard not to.

''I have neever seen such sorroooww ...'' She sings, a bit louder and I can hear her smile trough her voice.

Damn her.

Ofcourse she remembers this.


	8. Chapter 8

"Iiiiiiiiiin your eyes ... And the wedding is ... TOMORROOOW"

I chuckle "Stooop ..." I whine and I know she's smiling at me.

"Brittyyy ... Will you please look at me?"

I softly sigh and slowly lift up my head a little so I can see her face. She looks worried, and sad.

She hints a smile at me and wipes a tear off my cheek.

"How I hate to see you like this .." she sings softly, and I hint a smile back.

The dizziness is pulling away, but my headache is getting worse. Probably because of the crying.

"C'mon, let's get you upstairs" she whispers.

I softly nod and she helps me up. I can stand on my feet again, but I grab the staircase just to be sure.

I don't really know what's going on with me.

It was just a football not a gun shot or something.

I see her walk up to me, carrying the mug.

My tea mug.

She smiles and signs that I should go upstairs.

I get to my room and lay down on the bed instantly.

"Shouldn't you go back to school ..." I mumble into my pillow. I hear her chuckle "No, every chance I get to legally skip school I will take."

I can't see her but I know she just winked at me.

"And I also just don't want you to be alone."

I turn around so I'm laying on my back. I look at her. "Really?" I ask softly.

"Well, yeah .. Ofcourse. We take care of eachother, that's what friends do, right?"

''Yeah.. Thanks, Santana''

She walks up to me and I feel the bed move a bit. She sits next to me and lets out a deep breath. I close my eyes.

''Britt, you know I can't do this, as much as I want to..''

I frown, open my eyes, and sit up a little, resting on my elbows.

''You do want to? ''

She bites her lip ''Well, what did you think, Brittany? I mean, look at you ..''

I lay down and close my eyes again.

Yeah.

I'm hot, I know that.

Not because I'm a self-centered bitch, and not because I think I'm hot myself.

But apparently I am, since people tell me that everyday.

It's not always that fun, actually.

''You want to kiss me because I'm hot?'' I ask with a hint of sarcasm. ''Then go for it. I mean, why wouldn't you? You cheat on everybody, why not on Puck?'' I say, while sitting up again and now looking her straight in the eye.

I see her gulp.

She licks her lips really quick, hoping I didn't notice.

But I did.

She takes a deep breath.

She bites her bottom lip, trying not to glance down at mine.

But she does.

And that, my friends, is a sign.

And there's no way you can deny it.


	9. Chapter 9

I sit up straight, still looking her in the eye.

I see her internally freak out a bit, and I can't help but to grin, because I know she's too weak for this.

She stares at me. She has this look in her eyes. It's something between light panic and lust and .. I don't really know ..

Like how you look at puppy's.

But she kinda always looks at me like that.

''Why won't you kiss me, Santana?'' I whisper. I see her flinch as I say her name and I smile.

''Hmm..? Tell me ..''

I'm right in front of her right now, I can feel her breathing against my skin.

I glance down at her lips, and strike my tongue over mine as I lock eyes with her.

I know she's trying to think of something to do, but as I said, she's too weak for this.

I can do the same trick she plays on me, I just don't use it very often.

My lips curl up in a little smirk, knowing she's gonna snap at any moment.

I bet Puck can't do this.

''Well ..? Tell me ..'' I breathe against her lips.

And.. she does.

Her lips suddenly crash on mine, her hands all over my body. Rushing trough my hair, pushing me down to lay on my back again.

It's like she wants to feel every inch of my body, llike she wants us to become one.

Which we actually already are, kinda.

We were always saying we were more than best friends, we were eachother's 'other half'. Sounds pretty lame, I know, but allow me to explain.

Everyone always said that we could never be able to live without eachother, which is actually pretty true. Were always together, we literally finish eachother's sentences. We decided we were even more than soulmates, we were eachother's other half.

Oh, how I missed these lips.

Santana kisses me hard and passionately, I flinch as she slides her tongue over my bottom lip and softly sucks on it. I've always loved it when she did that.

As she's kissing me again, I suddenly feel something's wrong.

I open my eyes just as she does too. She stares at me, with this look.. The affection is gone and it has made place for anger and shock.

Anger that she kissed me?

Anger that I seduced her .. in to kissing me ..?

Sorry that I'm unresistable but I can't help it ..

Just kidding.

She stares at me. I stare back, but I'm the first one to blink, breaking the tension.

I know she just realised what she did because she rolls off me and stands up straight beside the bed.

She glares at me.

''I can't .. You knew I couldn't!'' She tries to shout at me, but somehow it doesn't come over that strong as it normally does.

''Why would you do that ..?'' She asks, suddenly in a completely different mood.

Sad, betrayed, non-understanding.

I let out the breath I've been holding since she jumped up and look down.

Why would I do that?


	10. Chapter 10

I know she's staring at me. I can feel it.

I'm still just looking at my feet and a couple of minutes go by.

Or hours, I don't know. It seems like it lasts for years, or like time just stopped.

I know what to do, but I'm not brave enough to say what I want to say right now.

I only look up as I hear her sniff.

She's not crying, but I can see she's hurt.

"You know I can't do this, Brittany. You know I can't. You told me you understood." she says quietly.

I nod.

Because I know.

I do know.

And I do understand I just .. Wish I didn't have to.

She looks at me. "Why won't you say anything"

I gulp and look down again. Seeing her like this hurts, but knowing it's because of me breaks my heart.

"Fine. I'll just go." she says, and I hear her soft footsteps walking away from me.

"No .." I say quietly, and I look up at her. She turns around.

"I'm sorry .." I whisper.

"You're sorry .." she says quietly. "Well, me too. Sorry for having a boyfriend, Britt. Sorry I don't want to cheat on him like he did a million times to me. Oh and forgive meee for taking just a little bit time for myself. I will make sure to be talking to you every second of my day from now on." she says sarcastically and I bite my lip.

I know she's right and I hate it.

I let out a deep breath and play with the hem of my shirt.

"I was wrong and I'm sorry, Santana .. Please don't be angry .."

I hear her sigh softly and she walks closer again.

"I'm not angry .. I get why you're acting like this and it's okay.. How's your head?"

I frown as she suddenly changes the subject and sits down next to me.

"Uh .. I'm fine, I guess. What do you mean you understand why I'm acting like this? I don't even know."

"Nevermind, drink your tea before it's cold."

"San .."

"And get some rest. I'm downstairs watching tv if you need me"

She smiles at me and before I know it she's out the door.

Now that was weird.

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><p><strong>So I'm sorry this is a short chapter but I have like .. zero inspiration right now and I feel like I'm just dragging this on .. New chapter up soon though<strong>


	11. Chapter 11

I wake up some time later and look over at my cat-shaped alarm clock.

12:32

I'm hungry.

I get out of bed and softly walk downstairs. I hear the tv in the living room, so I just slip in to the kitchen. I grab some bread, butter and cheese and make myself a sandwich.

I think for a second and then make another one with jelly. I walk to the livingroom and stand still in the doorway while eating my cheese sandwich.

Santana is looking at the screen uninterested, while occassionally checking her phone and typing a message. She zaps trough the channels.

_Cooking show_

_Talkshow_

_Dr. Phil_

_Cooking show_

_I used to be fat_

_Cooking show_

I never got why there are even cooking shows on television. Is there anyone who cooks in front of the tv?

She stops zapping as her phone buzzes on the table. '_The fresh prince of Bel-Air_' just started.

"Who is it?" I ask, and she looks up surprised.

"Britt? How long have you been standing there?"

"Uh .. A while .."

I look at the sandwich in my hand and lick some jelly of my finger. Santana chuckles "Well, why don't you come in? I mean, it's your house"

I smile. It feels so normal having Santana over. A thought flashes trough my head that I wouldn't mind living together with her at all.

I quickly shake off the thought and sit down next to her.

I take a bite of my jelly sandwich and look at the screen. "What you watching?" I ask to break the silence.

"Nothin' much .."

Her phone buzzes again. She doesn't take it.

"San, you've got a text" I say, quite unnescessary.

"Myeah, I know" she mumbles, and she laughs at Will Smith on the tv screen. "I miss this show so much" she chuckles.

"Santana?"

"Yeah?" she turns her head to face me and smiles.

"Are you gonna tell me what you meant earlier?"

She frowns and looks back at the screen "No, no I don't think I will"

"Oh .. Okay"

We watch tv in silence, with Santana occasionally laughing and me just smiling at her.

Commercial comes on, and I take the last bite of my sandwich.

"You won't even give me a hint..?"

Santana sighs and smiles. "Britt .. It's not important, just forget it."

"But now you made me curious it's not faaair ..." I whine, but I actually just really want to know what she said.

Could she know?

"Okay it has something to do with you"

Seriously ..

"Well yah .. I figured that out already" I chuckle and she hints a smile at me.

"And me, and .. well, things .."

"Things?"

"Yeah .. like, stuff .. you know?"

"Umm .. No, I don't really know, no .."

"There are things that .. Umm, have came up before .. and .. Pff, Brittany, I don't really know what you're expecting me to say right now"

"I'm not expecting anything 'cause I don't know what you're trying to say" I say simply.

"I just .."

"Yeees ...?" I smile at her.

That smile disappears pretty quickly.

"I know you're in love with me, Britt"


	12. Chapter 12

I stare at her in shock.

I try to be a little subtle about my sudden panic attack, but apparently it's not working.

''I ... I'm not ..!'' I manage to get out.

She frowns at me, then looks down, playing with the hem of her shirt.

Then she faces me again. ''I know you are, Britt. And it's okay I just .. don't want to give you a wrong impression ..'' she mumbles.

I gulp and look down.

I am not in love with her.

Maybe if I think it enough it will go away ...

Oh, who am I kidding. I've already tried that a long time ago. Everytime I saw her I had to tell myself to not feel butterflies when she touched me, to not check out her ass every time she walked by, to not talk about her all of the time ..

And yet, here I am.

Head over heels, heels over head, in love with my best friend.

But the worst part is just the fact that she knows, and that she is acting different.

This was all I was afraid for.

''I'm not in love with you.'' I mumble.

Maybe if I say it enough I'll start to believe it.

''Brittany, let's just be real here, okay? I love you, you're my best friend, but I just have a different feeling about you, do you get that?''

I nod with a frown on my face. I don't like it when she acts like this.

'And I don't mind, I hope it doesn't stay forever but .. I don't mind. It's not like I'm going to be treating you differently now ..''

''You're already acting different!'' I suddenly squeek.

She bites her lip. ''Yeah, maybe I am but .. I'm just figuring some stuff out. It has nothing to do with you and .. Well, it kinda does but ,. Anyway. It's none of your business.''

I frown at her ''I am your best friend! Since when is '_anything_' none of my business? We tell eachother everything, Santana!''

She raises one eyebrow ''You didn't tell me you were in love with me, did you?''

''Well, neither did you." I manage to say with a straight face.

Her eyes widen. "What's that supposed to mean?''

I look down and narrow my eyes.

I actually have no idea what it means.

''Why do you want to kiss me even though you've got a boyfriend, Santana?''

She sighs ''I do not want to kiss you, Britt''

''You said so yourself. And you gave me a pretty good demonstruction earlier.''

Whoa, I can sound bitchy.

''I ... I didn't even mean to do that ..'' she murmurs.

''Yeah, I bet you didn't ...''

''Look, Britt. I don't want to fight about this. Let's just leave it behind us, kay?''

''No.'' I say. ''I know you're attracted to me and you don't want to admit it because you think that it will ruin our friendship, your '_relationship_'' I said while making air-quotations with my fingers. ''And your reputation. ''

She looks down and I know I'm right. I try to hide a smile.

Woopwoop


	13. Chapter 13

She tries to glare at me. ''I'm not in love with you, Britt. I'm with Noah now.''

I don't know if it's just me, but she sounds like she's not just trying to convince me. It seems like she's trying to convince herself.

She moves her head to the side and frowns at me. ''Why are you looking at me like that ..''

''I'm fine, my headache is over, San. You can go home if you want to.'' I say, and I can see that was not the answer she expected.

''But I don't want to go .. I want to stay here and -"

"- I think you should go.''

She nods and slowly stands up from the couch. She looks at me, waiting for me to object her leaving, but I stay silent.

I can see her gulp and she picks up her bag from the ground. She searches for her phone and puts in in her pocket.

''Are you sure you ..you're gonna be fine?''

I know she wanted to ask if I was sure I want her to go, and I nod.

I'm not mad at her.

But I don't understand either.

She hints a smile at me and I walk her to the door.

She stands in the doorway, a bit uncomfortable, and then awkwardly pecks me on my cheek.

''Take care of yourself, Britt. We're walking to school together tomorrow.''

I sigh softly. Even though I don't really feel like walking to school alone with her, I'm not going to ignore her for the rest of my days. And after all those years, the one time I go to school alone, this happens. So I nod in agreement.

''Okay, I'll walk you to school tomorrow.''

She eventually turns around and walks down the driveway. She doesn't stop, but she glances over her shoulder and smiles at me.

''See you soon, Britty.''

I hint a small smile at her and close the door. I want to keep myself from staring at her while she leaves.

I can't stand to see her walking away from me.

I lean with my back against the door and close my eyes, but open them as the doorbell rings.

I glance at my watch. It's 4am.

Thinking it's my mom who's home early, I swing the door open.

I frown, but before I can say anything, a finger is placed on my lips.

''I forgot something ..''

* * *

><p><strong>Thoughts? Really sorry this took so long, I have started writing this chapter multiple times, but I kept changing it. I hope you like this version :) new chapter up soon<strong>


	14. Chapter 14

The next moment I feel her soft lips on mine.

I don't move.

I think she's trying to create this romantic, dramatic scene like at the end of a movie, but this is real life.

It's not _just _ a scene, and my life isn't a movie.

If we wouldn't have had that last conversation earlier, I would be so happy right now.

_She's coming back for me, _I would've thought.

_She finally realised she loves me..._

But I know that's not the case right now.

She's playing with me.

Again.

When she breaks the kiss, she's going to smirk at me and say ''I'll see you tomorrow, Britt-Britt..'' and then turn around and get in her car and drive away.

At least, if I stop standing here like a statue.

Which I don't.

It takes me a moment to realise she's looking at me.

She frowns, opens her mouth, and closes it again.

I can still cause her to be speechless. Mostly in a different way, but still.

I bite my lip, thinking of what to say.

I don't want to be rude, but I don't feel like being nice either.

The look on her face is priceless. desperate. non-understanding.

Ha. Her plan failed.

Don't be rude, Brittany, I think to myself. Just play along.

She's still staring at me.

I think she's disappointed or something.

You can play a game with me, but you can't prevent me from changing the rules .. I think and smile at myself, thinking my quote is brilliant.

But when she gives me a weird look, and wants to say something, I just smirk.

''I'll see you tomorrow, Santana.''

I close the door and as I lean against it, I know she's still there.

Ha.

* * *

><p>The next morning I'm standing at her door.<p>

I'm not nervous.

I'm not excited.

I'm not angry.

I don't know what I am.

I'm Brittany.

I press the doorbell and a couple of seconds later, the door swings open.

She smiles brightly. I hint a smile back and nod my head in the direction of the street.

She grabs her bag, shouts a _bye _at her mom and closes the door behind her.

''How are you?'' She asks me.

''I'm fine, you?''

''Okay .. How's your head?''

I wanted to ask her what was wrong with my head, but then I realised what was actually the very beginning of our day-at-home yesterday.

''It's okay. I really shouldn't have stayed home though.''

''Well, maybe that football was a sign.''

I frown.

A sign?

Seriously?

Okay, not that I hadn't thought about it that way, but seriously?

We walk further in silence, our hands occasionally touch.

She looks up.

I don't.

* * *

><p><strong>Thoughts? <strong>


	15. Chapter 15

''Britt?''

''Yeah?''

''Uh .. Are you feeling better?''

''You already asked me that .. Twice.''

''Oh"

''Myeah''

''Brittany?''

''Yeees ...''

''Did you make that chemistry homework?''

''Yes, I did''

''Okay''

''...''

''Brittany?''

''What''

''Are you mad at me?''

''Do I sound mad to you?''

"Yeah"

"Well, I'm not"

''Okay''

''San?''

''Yeah?''

''Can you please stop talking until we get to school?''

''Oh .. uh, sure ..''

''Thanks''

''But Britt?''

''What?''

''I'm sorry''

''For what?''

''I don't know''

''Well then, come back when you know''

''I'm sorry for kissing you. You know, when I said I didn't want to and stuff''

''Okay''

''You are mad at me, aren't you?''

''No''

''Disappointed?''

''No''

''Tired?''

''Uh .. no?''

''Annoyed?''

''..maybe''

''Okay"

''Hmm''

''Just know that I'm sorry''

''Kay''

''I'm gonna make it up to you''

''Great''

''Okay''

''Okay''

''Please don't go bitching about me to our friends, I know they like you better''

''Bye, Santana''

I walk through the schoolgate, leaving her stunned behind me.

Wasn't as hard as I thought it would be.

I wave at Tina and Mercedes and take my dayschedule out of my backpack. Not realising I'm in the middle of a crowded hallway, I search for the class I have first period.

As people start bumping into me, I take a few steps backwards.

Maybe a bit too many steps.

I crash against a locker as some jocks pass me, and unintenionally slam a lockerdoor shut.

A little scream escapes my mouth, and the next second I feel a hand on my shoulder and a giggle.

"Hey, you okay?''

I turn my head and face an unknown girl raising her eyebrows at me.

Apparently it was her locker.

I quickly recover and stand up straight.

''Uh, yeah .. sorry if I scared you" I stumble.

''It's okay'' she says sweetly ''I think you mostly scared yourself'' she winks at me and I smile.

She's kinda cute.

But it's pretty weird that I don't know her, in this school everyone knows everybody.

''Is it possible that I have never seen you before?'' I ask frowning, and she chuckles.

''Yeah, that's possible. Yesterday was my first day here.''

''Oh''

That explains it.

''And I guess your cheerio uniform explains why you didn't notice me earlier''

I frown.

What's wrong with my uniform?

''Excuse me?''

''Well, not to judge you or anything, but aren't the cheerleaders always like, ignoring people below their level?''

''Uh ..''

I wanted to say no, part because I was a bit offended that she thinks I'm a mean bitch, but actually she's right.

But I don't do that, and Santana .. Well, she's just rude to everybody.

Except me.

Anyway.

''Maybe .. Some of the cheerleaders are indeed like that but uh .. I'm not" I mumble, thinking back to my first Cheerio practice with Santana.

Oh gosh, how she hated me.

''I guess you're special then" she winks and I feel a slight blush covering my cheeks.

''I guess I am ..''

* * *

><p><strong>Thoughts? I'm trying my best to write your ideas out in the story, I really appreciate it :) any suggestions for a name? She can't be 'nameless girl' forever, can't she? :P<strong>


	16. Chapter 16

**Here's a quick chapter for you guys, new one will be up soon.**

* * *

><p>I smile as I now take in her appeareance properly.<p>

She has brown, wavy hair, beautiful green eyes, long, dark eyelashes, and I guess she's as tall as I am.

Her skinny jeans is ripped, her converse look like she pretty much wears them everyday, and she's wearing a tank top and a plaid shirt, a beanie on her head.

Says it all, doesn't it?

Anyway, I am trying my best not to draw conclusions too fast.

"Britt?" I suddenly hear behind me.

I would recognize that voice in a million, so even in a crowded hallway, I know it's her.

I sigh softly and turn around.

"Hey, San."

She walks up to me and I notice Puck behind her.

Great.

Just, great.

"Hey, who's this?"

''Oh, uh, this is .."

I frown.

I don't even know her name.

Oh this is awkward.

"I'm Emily" she smiles and reaches her hand out. "Nice to meet you. Let me guess, Santana? And .. Oh, Noah Puckermann."

Santana raises an eyebrow "Okay first of all, where do you even come from? And second of all, how do you know me exactly?"

"Well, I wouldn't say that I know you .. Let's just say I've heard an awful lot about you two in only one day."

Puck smirks at her "Oh yeah? You'd like to learn some more 'bout _the Puckermann_?"

She raises her eyebrows at him "I'm a lesbian so no, I'd rather not. But thanks for the offer."

Woopwoop my conclusions were right.

She winks at him and I can't help but to chuckle, receiving a deadly glare from Santana.

Puck frowns a bit disappointed, but he doesn't go further into it.

Santana does though.

Obviously.

"Look, Emily, or what's-your-name, I have only known you for a minute, and I can already assure you, that I don't like you. So you better get you hands off mah best friend, 'cause you don't wanna get on _my_ bad side."

Oh .. I'm dying to see how this plays out.

I can almost feel Santana's anger in the air I breathe in, as the girl, *sorry, Emily.*, just smirks at her.

"Do I look like I give a flying fuck?"

* * *

><p><strong>Thoughts? I just wanna say, I gave her the name Emily because I think it's a pretty name, and it suits the character. SHE HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH EMILY FIELDS FROM PLL, kay? :) and thanks for the suggestion but I guess I was searching something a bit more .. neutral ;) thanks anyway I really appreciate you guys helping me build up the storyline. <strong>


	17. Chapter 17

_"Do I look like I give a flying fuck?"_

I try to hold back a chuckle but I fail, and she glances at me and smiles.

Santana on the other hand, is not so amused.

I can see her switching looks between me and Emily, while biting her lip.

Eventually, she turns to the other girl.

"I told you .. to stay away from her." She hisses.

"Look," Emily answers "I get that she's your best friend and all, but she's not your property. She can speak to other people if she likes. And it's not like I'm stealing her away, we just met a minute ago" she chuckles.

Santana takes a deep breath and looks at me "Ofcourse she can talk to other people."

She raises her eyebrows at Emily "Just not to you." She says simply.

"Geez, you almost sound like a jealous girlfriend or something"

I can see Santana gulp as her eyes widen a bit.

"Britt .."

She's asking me for help?

She wants me to back up for her right now?

Really?

I shuffle a bit closer to Emily and shrug.

"I can talk to her if I want to .."

Santana's trying to get control of herself, I can see it.

She grinds her teeth, before straightening her back and throwing us both a deadly glare.

She looks over her shoulder and frowns.

Puck is probably imagining all sorts of lesbian porn situations right now, because it looks like it won't take long until he's drooling all over Emily.

"Puck!" Santana shouts angrily, and he snaps out of his filthy fantasy.

He looks at her uninterested and she harshly grabs his arm.

"Let's go."

"But .. " he wants to protest, but Santana is already pulling him away.

"We're leaving."

As the two walk off, I turn to Emily and hint an apologizing smile.

"Sorry about that .."

She shrugs. "I get it .. Wait. She isn't really your girlfriend, is she?"

I smile "Uh .. No .. Well, I'm .. No, it's .. complicated." I mumble.

She first looks at me questioningly, and then she smirks at me.

"You'd want her to be your girlfriend, don't you?"

''I .." I frown at her and sigh "Myeah ..."

How does she do that?

I shake my head and smile "Why am I even talking about this with you, I barely know you.. You might be a serial killer who I am telling my deepest secrets right now'' I chuckle.

I can't help but smile as she giggles sweetly. "Oh c'mooon .. Just admit it, you already love me" she winks at me and I feel my cheeks slightly blush.

I smile at her "Hmm .. Maybe"

* * *

><p><strong>Thoughts? <strong>


	18. Chapter 18

**OMG GUUYS 50 FOLLOWERS ALREADY? Thank you!**

**And thanks for all the reviews! You're so sweet I really appreciate it :) **

* * *

><p>She grins at me. "Which class do you have first period?"<p>

I'm a bit confused as she suddenly changes the subject, but I quickly recover.

"Uh .." I look at the schedule that's still in my hands.

"Spanish .."

"Me too!" She says excited.

I frown "Really?"

"No" she laughs "I lied"

"Oh .. Okay" I smile at her.

"Well, I've got to get going .. I don't want to be late."

"Yeah sure," she says nodding. "I'll see you at lunch then."

She winks at me, closes her lockerdoor and walks away.

I watch her leave and I smile.

"I'll see you at lunch then .." I whisper to myself.

A couple of hours go by.

The classes I have with Santana are awkward, she refuses to talk to me, even though we're seated right next to eachother.

I don't even know what her problem is.

During class, I have whispered to her multiple times, what was wrong, why she was ignoring me, what the answer was to question 5 .. **math is hard, okay?** but she just looked straight forward and pretented she didn't hear me.

After a while I gave up.

I pack my bag, thinking I'm just going to sit with Emily.

I was doubting at first, because I didn't want Santana to get angry or something, but she has been ignoring me for 4 hours now, so I don't really care anymore.

"Hey Britt .."

_Oh god .._

_Really? _

_REALLY?_

_NOW YOU'RE TALKING TO ME?_

I turn around, facing Santana.

I raise my eyebrows, as a sign that I'm listening, but she doesn't speak.

"Well, I have said everything I wanted the last few hours, now is your time to respond." I say.

She looks down, sighs, and then locks eyes with me.

"Sorry" she says quietly.

I now raise one eyebrow and look at her with a _no-shit _expression, because really, Santana, really ..?

"Gee, thanks" I answer sarcastically and she lets out a deep breath.

"I'm sorry, okay? Maybe I went a bit out of line this morning. I shouldn't have been so rude. I'm sorry."

I nod "Could you say that to her?"

I nudge my head in the direction of the doorway, where I saw Emily take place earlier.

During Santana's little speech, she walked by and saw me standing in the classroom, and waved at me as she walked by.

But suddenly she appeared again and now, well, she's standing in the doorway.

Santana turns around and frowns.

''No, I can't." She says stuborn.

"You can't, or you won't?"

I know I sound like her mother when I say such things, and she pretty much hates it.

As she gives me a glare, I just nod again and walk over to my new friend.

"Okay" I say shrugging. "See ya later"

I feel Santana's eyes burning in my back and I know she's going to call me back in a second.

"Britt!"

Ha.

Told ya.

I look over my shoulder, without fully turning around.

"Where are you going?"

"Lunch .." I say, a bit obviously.

"With .. _her ..._?"

"Yes, with Emily. I'll see you at Cheerios practice, Santana."

After that, I turn around and walk away, pulling Emily with me.

As we walk over to the cafetaria, I notice her sneeking glances at me.

"What?" I say with a little smile.

"You know she's in love with you, right?"

I frown and look at her.

"What are you .. Gurl, you crazy" I laugh, but she just looks at me with a smile.

"Okay .. As long as you know .."


	19. Chapter 19

I shake my head. "I'm not going to talk about Santana with you .."

''Why not?"

"I ..." I sigh "I don't know .. It's weird, and ..-"

"-Complicated?"

"Yes .. I'm complicated."

"Well, good" she smiles "I like complicated."

I smile shyly as she winks at me, and invite her to come sit with me at the Glee table.

I don't really feel like sitting with the cheerios right now, I don't think they would so be nice to Emily.

"Hey Britt, you got a new member for us?" Kurt says smiling, as he puts down his tray with a salad and a jelly sandwich on the table.

"No, this is Emily, she's new at school so I invited her to sit with us."

I look at her, "Unless you _want _to join, ofcourse"

A frown appears on her face and I smile.

Honestly, she kinda looks adorable.

"Join _what _exactly? This isn't some kind of creepy culte or something, is it?"

"No .." Kurt says, obviously offended. "We're in Glee club. We sing, dance, perform at National championships .. It's really cool actually."

''Yeah .. Too bad the whole school hates us" Mercedes comments, receiving a glare from Kurt.

"They don't _hate _us." He turns back to Emily "They're just jealous, because we can sing, and they can't."

"Can you sing?" I ask her, and she starts laughing.

"Oh god, no. The only place where I'm even allowed to sing is in the shower, but that's just because the acoustics make it, well .. kinda bareable."

I chuckle "Oh, that's too bad .. It would've been fun to have you in Glee with us."

I sit down at the table and she takes place next to me.

"Wait" Mike Chang says. Apparently everyone at the table was listening to our conversation.

"I'm not the best singer either, but I'm still in Glee club .. Can you dance?"

"Well .." Emily answers "I did hip-hop and breakdance for like .. Nine years, but I had to quit a year ago .. But yeah, I guess I can dance, yeah."

I smile at her "You should try out!" I say happily, and she frowns at me.

"Me? In Glee club?" She laughs "I'm not really the performer type, I'm afraid."

"Emily, right?" Artie rolls up to us.

"Look at us. Do we _look _like performers? I'm in a wheelchair, Tina is still in her gothic phase, Finn is a walking giant. We all look different. Do we look like perfomers? No. But are we? Yes. We turned ourselfs and eachother into performers and that's what makes us so good. You should try out, I'm sure in a while, you'll feel like a performer too."

He ends his speech with patting her on the shoulder and an encouraging smile.

"Wow" she says "Nice words, dude. But uhm .. I'm not sure that it's a good idea for me to try out .. Because Brittany, isn't your _girlfriend _in here too?"

My eyes widen at the word _girlfriend _and Artie frowns at me.

"Girlfriend?"

I quickly shake my head "Don't pay attention to her, she means Santana. And yes, she's also in Glee.."

"Well, why should that be a problem?" Mike asks.

I sighs "She hates her"

"Oohw .." Mercedes suddenly says "Gurl, what did you do?"

"Uh, nothing? I was talking to Brittany and well .. Now she pretty much wants to kill me."

"Okay, I'm convinced. Don't try out, please, for the team's sake."

"Artie!" I shout "You can't just leave everything to Santana! If Emily wants to join Glee then she can, if Santana likes it or not."

"Yeah" Rachel interferes in the conversation "She hates me too and I'm still alive, aren't I?"

I see practically everyone roll their eyes and I chuckle.

"Yeah, Rachel. You are .."

* * *

><p><strong>Thoughts? <strong>


	20. Chapter 20

''So .."

"So .."

I look at her.

Well, this is kind of awkward.

"So .."

"Okay stop it." Santana snaps.

"We can't keep doing this, this is just .. too awkward.''

''I agree"

"Okay .. Now what?"

"We're almost home," I say, and she looks down.

''Yeah ..''

"I'm still pissed at you.''

''I'm not going to apologize, Britt."

''Okay, you can walk to school alone then tomorrow.''

I don't walk her to her door as usual, I just nod at her, and keep walking.

I know we'll have to talk someday.

I know.

But Santana's being a jerk, and Emily is just .. There for me.

She's just here, even encouraging me to talk about Santana.

And even though we've just met, I just .. I trust her.

She's not afraid to say what's on her mind, but neither is Santana.

It seems like Emily is just a bit more .. Reasonable.

I reach my house and unlock the door.

As I walk into the livingroom, I'm greeted by a very, very awkward situation.

"Mom! Dad! What the hell are you doing?!"

* * *

><p><strong>Me : I'm still mad at you but I really need to talk to you right now<strong>

**Me : Please answer**

**Me : San**

**Me : Where are you**

**Me : Seriously? You're ignoring me?**

**Me : You know what? Fuck it.**

I throw my phone on my bed.

It bounces on my pillow and lands a couple of meters further on the ground.

''Shit'' I mumble.

As I walk over to see if my phone's alright, I hear a buzz.

**SannyIsTheBestFriendInTheEntireWoooorld : Was showerin'. What's up?**

Just sayin', I wasn't the one who edited her name in my phone like that.

**Me : I'm gunna call u**

I dial her number and hold the phone to my ear.

**_"San?"_**

**_"Yeah. What's so important?"_**

**_"I walked in on my mom and dad .."_**

I hear her laugh "_**Oooh my gaaawd are you serious? Haahahah"**_

**_"Don't laaaugh!'' _**I whine**_ "It was horrible"_**

**_"Why were you even in their room?"_**

**_"I wasn't! They were in the livingroom! On the couch for god's sake!"_**

**_"Oh god this is the best thing ever!"_**

**_"I hate you"_**

**_"I know" _**she laughs.

Suddenly I realise I was mad at her.

And now we're just laughing like old times.

**_"San?"_**

**_She chuckles "Yeah?"_**

**_"This doesn't fix it .."_**

**_"...I know"_**

**_"Okay .. _****_I gotta go"_**

**_"Okay"_**

**_"Bye, Santana"_**

**_"Bye .."_**

* * *

><p><strong><em>Sorry it's short .. : thoughts?_**


	21. Chapter 21

I end the call and throw my phone on my bed.

I should've known it would fall on the ground again.

Who cares.

I lay down on my bed and sigh.

This was just getting too complicated.

I sigh again.

''Britty? Uh, dinner's ready" I hear my mother call from downstairs.

I turn around and grumbl in my pillow.

I am so not ready for this.

"Brittany, honey?"

I take a deep breath and get up.

I sit on the edge of my bed, recalling the memory of what happened here a couple of days ago.

It would be easier if I could just forget it all.

Wouldn't it?

Thinking my mom is going to call me again soon, I stand up and walk downstairs.

My parents are already at the table.

This is so awkward.

"Good evening, Brittany.." my dad says, forcing a smile.

I sit down and look up at him.

''I hope you washed your hands.''

Wait for it.

It gets worse.

I can see my dad frown, and he suddenly gets up from the table.

He walks to the kitchen and I hear the water stream a second later.

HE IS FUCKING WASHING HIS HANDS

RIGHT NOW

OMFG

"Mom''

''Yes?'' She smiles that motherly smile at me.

You know, the kind of smile every child secretely finds a bit disturbing.

''You too?''

''Oh ofcourse not, honey''

I frown ''You _didn't_ wash your hands?"

''No, ofcourse I did that.'' She answers a bit offended.

I sigh softly in relief.

''But I also didn't use my hands the way he did .."

My eyes widen and my mouth drops open "MOM! I DID NOT NEED TO KNOW THAT!'' I shout.

My mother chuckles ''Oh c'mon, dear. You're almost a grown up now, is sex still so gross to you?"

Meanwhile my dad sat down at the table again, fiddling with his hands.

''I am not a grown up, mom. And no, it's not. But nobody wants to see their parents go down on eachother.''

My dad suddenly looks a bit shocked "You saw that?"

"Ooohw!" I shout out horrified "This is just too much!'' I get up from my chair, pick up my plate and turn to them.

''I am in my room. And if you need me, well .. Don't.''

"Brittany ...'' my mom tries to call me back, but I'm just too grossed out right now.

I get to my room and before I know it, I'm dialing Santana's number again.

Why do I even do this.

_**BEEP**_

I'm mad at her.

_**BEEP**_

I have other friends ..

_**BEEP**_

Why don't I just call Mercedes? Or Blaine? Or even Quinn?

_**BEEP**_

No, not Quinn.

_**BEEP**_

Not any of them ..

_**"Britt? Hello?''**_

* * *

><p><strong>Thoughts? <strong>


	22. Chapter 22

_**"Uh, Britt? Are you there?"**_

_**"Yeah"**_

_**"Why are you calling me again? You alright?"**_

I frown_** "..yeah"**_

_**"Then why are you calling me?"**_

_**"I have to go"**_

**_"Uh .. okay ..?"_**

_**"Bye."**_

_**"Bye, I guess .."**_

I hang up my phone and lay it down on the nightstand beside my bed.

I set my plate on my lap, and mash my potatoes a bit.

I'm actually really not hungry.

Like, not at all.

Which is pretty weird, even for me.

I grab my tablet and play some Doodle Jump, until I get tired of it.

Which is also weird.

Who doesn't love Doodle Jump?

I lay down on my bed and sigh.

Why is she so fucking complicated.

* * *

><p><strong>Wednesday, Glee club after school.<strong>

I look around the room, Emily 's not here.

I haven't seen her all day.

I don't know why that makes me kinda sad, I guess I was looking forward to seeing her again.

Or something.

And the worst part is, I don't even have her number.

I can't reach her.

She could be sick, in bed. And nobody who texts her if she's okay.

She could be dead, and I wouldn't know.

''Brittany?''

I turn around and raise my eyebrows at Mr. Shue.

''Are you going to stand there all day?"

"No .." I shake my head, and look over at the chairs on the other side of the choir room.

The seat next to Santana is empty.

My seat.

I doubt for a second, but then walk over to the front row, and I sit down next to Artie.

I know she's watching me.

I just know.

''Okay guys, since it's Fleetwood Mac week, I hope you all found a song that really suits you. A song that .. Can describe how you feel, and that can help-"

"-Okay, Dr. Phil .. Move on." Santana comments, causing a few to chuckle.

Mr. Shue clears his troath.

''Okay .. I think Quinn and Finn have been working on something ..?''

Quinn nods and pulls Finn up with her.

Apparently they are doing a duet together. Well, it's kinda obvious they're doing it _together_ .. As a wise Santana Lopez once said, doing a duet by yourself is like vocal masturbation.

But I actually have no idea why they are doing a duet.

Are they together again?

Ooeh, she grabbed his hand, she grabbed his hand .. They're together.

Wow, I am really not up to date with the gossip mail nowadays.

I look over my shoulder and see Rachel watching them.

She looks pissed off.

Ha.

Now I get why she was singing a depressing song down the hall this morning.

...

Long story.

Anyway, they start to sing and bla bla bla.

It doesn't look like they're in love though.

They seem to be a bit pissed off at eachother.

Everyone is so pissed off nowadays .. Why is that?

I like the song though. It's got a good beat.

I feel like someone is looking at me.

I want to turn around, but I don't want to look up and suddenly lock eyes with them.

And also, it's not even needed to turn around.

I already know who's watching me.

* * *

><p><strong>Thoughts? <strong>


	23. Chapter 23

Okay, I have good news, and great news!

Which one first?

The good news, obviously.

Well, the good news is : I saw Emily again! She wasn't avoiding me or anything, she just had a completely different schedule than me the past couple of days. Sooo we talked.

And the great news iiis : I finally got her number!

Well, _finally_ .. I only know her for like, a week, but anyway.

I also have some news that I don't really know how to feel about.

I haven't spoken to Santana since our call. But well, we'll be alright I guess.

Ooh greater news just came in!

I got a text from her! From Emily, I mean.

She asks if I want to go to a party tonight.

Do I?

I quickly text her back.

**Brittany : Duuuh .. Have to ask my mum though :)**

**Emilyyy : Great! TTYL babe x**

A goofy smile appears on my face as I read her reply. She called me babe ..

A while later I'm sitting at my desk, attempting to study for a Spanish test. I can't concentrate, obviously. I've got so many things on my mind and they're all more important than "_estoy Brittany"_.

"Brittany? Someone's here for you!" My mom yells. I walk to the hall and try to look at her from upstairs.

"Send them up!"

I wasn't really expecting anyone ..

I stay in the hall and wait. A couple of seconds later Santana hops up the stairs to my bedroom.

She apparently didn't notice me because she almost knocks me over as she barges in my room.

"San? Uh .. What are you doing here?" I stumble.

She sits down on my bed and sighs. "Honestly? I have no idea. But I feel like I need to talk to you."

* * *

><p>"Mooom?" I call downstairs. A couple of seconds later I get a reply.<p>

"Yes, honey? Are you ready?"

"Nooo!"

So my mum agreed to the party as long as she knew I wasn't going to be alone. Which is whyyy Emily is picking me up later!

Whooo

Okay I really shouldn't feel this excited. I should be feeling a lot different.

And I doubted to actually go, I really did. But, Emily was first and I had already told her that I would come with her.

I couldn't just blow her off, right?

God, I feel awful.

I hear the door open and my mum walks in. "Did you need me for something?"

I hold up two outfits. "Dress, or casual jeans?"

"Oh, I'd go with casual. It's just a party, not a ball or anything fancy, right?"

I nod. "Right. Thanks."

I expected her to leave, but she sat down on my bed and looked at me.

"Brittany?"

"Yeah?" I frown at her, while picking up a tanktop and putting it on.

"Can I ask you something?''

Oh god.

"Sure" I hint a smile at her.

"You .. You and Santana. Are you guys alright? She seemed pretty upset when she left earlier.."

My mother saw that?

"We're uh .." I sigh "We'll be fine."

* * *

><p><strong>Thoughts? <strong>


	24. Chapter 24

**Wow, okay .. This is a long chapter .. **

**I just want to thank you guys! 58 followers already that's .. that's a lot! :)**

* * *

><p>So, a while later the doorbell rang again. This time it was Emily.<p>

Inbetween my talk with Santana and waiting for Emily to show up, I kinda lost my excitement.

Dunno why

But I open the door and a smile instantly spreads across my face.

She looks gorgeous. As always, really.

She smiles back at me. "Let's go"

I turn around "Mooom! We're leaving!"

"Okay honey!" Her head appears around the corner of the livingroom. "Hey Emily, nice to meet you"

"Hello mrs. Pierce" she smiles sweetly, and then grabs my arm. "C'mon Britt, we don't want to be late"

I grin "Not even fashionably late?"

"Oh always" she smiles. "C'mon, I'm driving."

I let her pull me away and I close the door behind us.

"So .."

I raise my eyebrows at her "So, what?"

"Do you drink? Just asking, I'm not gonna get you wasted or anything" she chuckles.

I try to hold back a laugh as I think of myself as drunk. "No .. You really don't want to get me wasted .." I laugh.

"Why not?"

"Well .. I have this thing that I .. Uh, take off all my clothes and uh, I strip on tables and stuff"

She looks at me with a smirk "Who says I don't want to see that?"

We drive for like ten minutes and then arrive at a giant house. It's completely lightened with what seems like Christmas lights, and the front yard is packed with teenagers.

"We're here" she smiles.

"Wow ... That's uh .. Big .."

She chuckles "I know right .. It's awesome"

We get out of the car and cross the street. I look around and notice that pretty much half of my school is here.

Well, mostly jocks and Cheerios.

"You want to drink something?"

I smile at her "Sure"

We walk inside. It's pretty dark, and _Temperatue_ by Sean Paul is blasting out the speakers. I smile, it's one of my all-time-favourite songs.

I follow her to the bar and we get a drink.

We talk, dance and laugh together, and after a while she pulls me outside with her.

"God, I needed fresh air."

I chuckle "Me too, it's like a sauna in there .."

"Hmmhmm .."

She stops walking and leans against the back of the house. A few couples are making out in the backyard and a guy stumbles of the backporch and throws up in a bush.

Emily pulls up her nose "Gross .."

"Yeah" I laugh. "So, what do you want to do? You want to go home already?"

"Noo .." she smiles. She takes my hand and pulls me closer to her. I look up and lock eyes with her.

"You don't want to go home, huh?"

She shakes her head with a smirk. "I'd rather stay here, and do this .."

She pulls me closer by my waist so our faces are only a few inches away from eachother. She leans in and softly kisses my lips.

She looks up and I smile, before kissing her back harder.

Her lips are soft, her tongue tastes like beer, but I don't mind. She wraps her arms around my neck and runs a hand through my hair.

Suddenly I can't help but to think how different this feels from kissing Santana.

It wasn't better or worse, just .. Different.

I'm trying to keep Santana out of my head, because I'm here with Emily, not with her, but I hear her voice echoing through my head.

Wait.

Her voice sounds a bit too clear to me.

"Brittany?"

I break the kiss and quickly turn around, Santana is looking me.

Fuck.

Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck.

She looks so confused, and hurt, and angry and betrayed and .. I don't know.

Sad..

I can see her biting her lip. "You .. Is that her ..?"

I look down and take a deep breath. This wasn't meant to happen.

"Brittany? What's wrong?" I hear Emily ask me. I don't turn around but look back up at Santana.

She's only a few metres away from me, but I can see tears glinstering in her eyes.

"Why would you do this to me?" she asks me. Her voice sounds broken. "I fucking told you I loved you and you just go off and kiss somebody else? You go and kiss _her_ of all people?"

I gulp. I can't think of a single thing that would be right to say right now.

She told me that she loved me. I kissed somebody else. And now I hate myself for it.

I still don't react, keep staring at her.

Guilty.

She looks at me one more time "I can't believe you would do this to me .."

She turns around and walks away, her head bowed down. I know she doesn't want me to see her cry.

As I see her leaving, I suddenly remember how to speak again.

"Santana!" I yell after her. She doesn't turn around and I feel my eyes starting to fill with tears.

I was sure I had just made the biggest mistake of my life.


	25. Chapter 25

After the "Santana-incident", Emily decided it would be better if she took me home, I agreed.

I wasn't really in the mood to party anymore.

In the moment itself, when she had caught us, I felt so guilty. I knew I had hurted her and that this was a difficult situation for her and that she had just poured her heart out to me not more than three hours earlier.

But now, I'm kinda pissed.

Because hey, didn't she do the exact same thing to me? Okay, I never gave her an entire speech of how I was in love with her and how scared I was to admit it but .. She knew. And that should've been enough.

I'm staring out of the window, watching the streetlights pass by. I feel a hand on mine and look up.

"Are you okay?"

I sigh "I'm fine.."

"You don't _look_ fine" she says frowning.

I hum in response and go back to my window-staring.

This night could've gone so different ..

_"San? Uh .. What are you doing here?" I stumble._

_She sits down on my bed and sighs. "Honestly? I have no idea. But I feel like I need to talk to you."_

_I frown and slowly walk over to her. I grab a chair and sit down. "Okaay .. What about?"_

_I can see her searching for words and I patiently wait._

_"I don't really know how to bring this .."_

_"That's okay .." I nod._

_I know, I should still be pissed at her._

_But sometimes my mouth, brain, and heart just don't work together, okay._

_I can't help it._

_"I .." she starts and she looks up at me "I'm not in love with Puck anymore."_

_I nod again "Oh ..?"_

_"Yeah .. But .. I miss you, Britt"_

_"I know .."_

_"You know?"_

_I hint a smile at her "I know"_

_What I also know is that Santana is just one of those people who can't express their feeling in words. So I can say that I was at least surprised that she came here and wanted to talk to me._

_"Okay, good .." she says quietly. "You need to know something else, I think .."_

_"Tell me .."_

_"Uhm .. So, you're my best frined, you know that, right?"_

_"Hmmhmm"_

_"And we will always stay best friends, right?"_

_I frown and nod "I think so, yes .."_

_"Okay .." she whispers "But, do you remember when we made that promise to eachother? That we would be forever best friends and that we would buy houses next door to eachother and that our kids would be friends and all that?"_

_I smile at the memory. "Yeah, yeah I remember"_

_"Okay, because .. I have been thinking a lot about that lately and .. I don't know if I really want exactly that anymore .."_

_I frown, but she doesn't give me a chance to reply._

_"I don't want to live nextdoor to you, I .. I want to live with you. In a house .. And, stuff .."_

_"You want us to live together?"_

_She looks down and bites her lip. "Yeah .."_

_"Why?"_

_It's quiet for a second, and then suddenly she looks up. "Because I love you."_

_I didn't really think that she would be so straight up about it, so obviously I was a bit surprised._

_"I'm in love with you, Britty.. And I think I have always been because you are my very best friend and I can talk to you about anything and you're always there for me and .. And I know that I can be a terrible friend. And that I hurt you, and betray you, and disappoint you .. And I hate myself everyday for it because when I see you sad, when I see you cry .. I can feel my heart break in my chest and I just want to hold you in my arms and sing to you until you fall asleep and pepper you with kisses and .. And I can't do that now because I'm the one making you sad .. But I'm in love with you .. Please say you still love me back .. Please .."_

_I stare at her and gulp._

_Okay, now I am more than surprised._

_I'm a bit stunned, really._

_I can see her expression change because I'm not answering her right away._

_She thinks I'm doubting, which is actually exactly what I'm doing right now._

_I watch her as she gets up from my bed. She walks up to me and softly kisses me on my cheek._

_I don't move until I hear my bedroom door close._

_I blink a couple of times and hear my phone buzz._

_It's Emily._

* * *

><p><strong>New chapter will be up soon<strong>


	26. Chapter 26

Monday after the party. I have been thinking about it a lot, and I realised that I need to have a serious chat with Santana.

In the weekend, I have talked to Emily a lot. Well, mostly I was just nagging and ranting about Santana. But she just listened, and she was being really sweet.

She didn't try to kiss me anymore, but I know she wanted to. Sometimes she would just stare at me, and zone out for a second. And I would just know what she was thinking.

But anyway, I arrive at school, and the first thing on my planning is to find Santana and talk to her. Luckily, our lockers aren't that far apart. I open my locker and I see her grabbing her stuff. I guess she noticed me because she suddenly closes her locker and walks off.

"Hey" I call her. "I need to talk to you."

She stops, but doesn't turn around "I don't want to talk."

"Well, you'll have to." I walk up to her until I'm standing behind her. I tap her on the shoulder, *how subtle*, and she turns around.

"We have nothing to talk about."

"Oh, we have lots to talk about."

"Oh yeah? Like what"

"What about you told me you were in love with me."

"I honestly have no idea what I was thinking" she says, before turning around and walking away again.

"Santana, stop!" I grab her arm.

"What?"

"You don't get to do this, okay. You don't get to be all innocent and hurt and act like I am the bad guy."

She huffs "I don't?"

"No, you don't."

"Oh, okay. Because I thought it was pretty clear that I was the one pouring my heart out to you and you were the one kissing some slut at a party."

I gasp, and before I know it, my hand lands straight up in her face. Her eyes widen and she holds a hand over her cheek.

"You .."

I glare at her. "Emily. is not. a slut." I say calmly.

She's still staring at me. "You slapped me. You slapped me in the face, Brittany."

I nod slowly "I know .."

She doesn't answer me.

Yeah, she's still staring.

"Look, I'm sorry that I slapped you, okay? But you have no right to call her that."

"Okay fine, she's not a slut. But you still kissed her."

"Didn't you kiss Puck too? Multiple times, when you knew I was in love with you?"

I can see her gulp. She can't fire back to this.

"I .. Yes. But that was different."

I frown "How is this different, Santana?"

She licks her lips, looks down, and then up again. The look in her eyes is different.

"Class is about to start. I'll see you after school."

I sigh.

Honestly, I don't feel like fighting right now either.

I nod. "Okay, I'll see you after school."

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry to end it with this, but I don't want to keep dragging this on right now, and I really have to go to sleep. I'll update soon, have a good night<strong>


	27. Chapter 27

**Guys, may I just say something. I really appreciate it that you guys give me your opinions on the story and all that, and I want to write the story the way you want to read it. But if you only tell me what you ****_don't _****like, I can't really improve the story. It's pretty hard to please you guys when I don't know what you ****_do_**** want to read. So just tell me how you want the story to go and then I'll write it and everyone's happy .. 'cuz this was actually pretty much my favourite story to write but now I honestly don't know what to do anymore, I'm just constantly attempting to justify the previous chapter and it just .. doesn't work this way.**

**Also, Santana and Brittany are based on the characters of the show, ofcourse. But they are not exactly the same and that is also not what I'm going for.**

* * *

><p>School passed very slowly today. I didn't talk to Santana, I haven't seen Emily either. After my "talk" with Santana earlier, she walked away, leaving me alone in the hall. I leaned with my back against my locker and sighed.<p>

I had no idea what was suddenly going on with me, I went out of line, that was a fact. We have both hurt eachother, it was difficult and weird for both of us. But fighting wasn't going to fix this. It was only making it worse.

This was a weird feeling for me. Ofcourse, Santana and I have had some fights in the past, but I always knew how to make it right again. But now .. It's like I'm stuck and I've got nothing to fall back on.

With lunch, I sat at the Glee table, but I didn't go to Glee club after school. I waited in the auditorium until Santana showed up.

That was the only thing I had said *texted* to her today, to meet me in the auditorium.

It's always so dark and quiet in here. The sound of my footsteps echoes against the high walls, and the wooden floor squeeks beneath my feet.

I sit down on a chair in the middle of the stage, and look out over hundreds of empty seats. I have made great memories on this stage, great friends. Sometimes, when I know nobody would notice that I'm gone, I like to come here and just think. Think about the most random things, but also about life, and fights, and Santana.

I'm trying to figure out what I'm going to say when she gets here, when I hear some noise behind me. I look over my shoulder. Footsteps are getting closer, it's her.

She appears on the stage and hints a smile at me.

"Hi" I whisper, and I get up from my chair.

"Hi .."

Well, this is pretty awkward.

"I, uh .. I'm sorry" I say. "For slapping you, I mean. I shouldn't have done that."

She shrugs "It's fine .. Quinn slaps me all the time"

"I know" I nod "That's why I felt so bad about it. I don't want to be mean like Quinn"

She hints a smile at me "I guess I kinda had it coming .. I shouldn't have called your girlfriend a slut, because she's not." She looks down and shrugs again. "She seems kinda nice, I guess."

"Yeah .. But she's not my girlfriend"

Santana looks up and frowns "She's not?"

I shake my head "No .."

"Oh .. So I still have a chance with you, huh?"

I roll my eyes "I think it's better if we try to figure all this out first, don't you? And later we can see where we can go together"

She nods "Yeah .. You're right"

"Okay .."

I sit down on the ground and she sits down in front of me, her legs tuked beneath her. I take a deep breath.

"I know I have hurt you, Santana. But you hurt me too, you have to know that."

She nods "I know .."

"Okay, good. But .. I don't want us to fight anymore. I absolutely hate it."

She smiles "Me too"

"Can we just .. Think about this for a while? But just, try not to hurt eachother and stuff .. And just no .. Boy-or girlfriends until we figure this out."

She nods again and hints a smile at me "I guess I can do that .."

* * *

><p><strong>So .. Is this how you want the story to go? If not, tell me what you do want to read, okay? Thank you for reading anyways<strong>


	28. Chapter 28

**Okay so, because a couple of people asked, I'm gonna try to write some longer chapters, kay?**

* * *

><p>I smile "Okay .."<p>

She smiles back and gets up. She reaches her hand out to me and I let myself be pulled up by her.

"I'm going home now" I say, and she nods.

"I'm driving so, I can give you a ride if you want."

I think for a second and then softly shake my head. "I think I'm gonna walk"

She hints a smile at me and shrugs "Okay"

We walk out of the auditorium, in the hall we hear the Glee club sing. I shiver when we get outside, and from the corner of my eye I see her taking of her Cheerios jacket.

She drapes it over my shoulders and I smile at her. "San, you don't have to do that .."

She shrugs.

I roll my eyes and just let it be.

I walk her to the parking lot and hint a smile at her, before walking away.

"Hey, Britt!"

I stop and look over my shoulder "Yeah?"

She smiles "Bye"

"Bye, Santana. See you tomorrow"

She nods and then walks over to her car. I continue my way to the sidewalk.

I'm almost home when I feel the first raindrop. I curse to myself. Ofcourse I was too stuborn to get into Santana's car and let her drive me home.

I clutch my hands to her jacket and start walking faster.

I get home, and when I look out the window, it looks like it's about to storm. I can't help but to think about Santana when I hear the sound of thunder. She would never admit it, but I know that she's still scared of thunder and storms.

I close the curtains when I feel my phone buzz in my pocket.

**SannyIsTheBestFriendInTheEntireWoooorld ****: Hey, you got home okay?**

I smile.

**Me : Yeah, you? **

**SannyIsTheBestFriendInTheEntireWooorld : I'm fine**

I put my phone back in my pocket and decide to search for my parents. I walk into the kitchen and see a note sticked to the refrigerator.

_To the store, be home around six. Love, mom and dad xx_

I sigh and look at the clock. Okay, I have about 40 minutes to myself.

What shall I do?

Normally I love being home alone, but now I just have too many things on my mind, and being alone gives me too much time to think. I decide to watch some tv, but of course nothing is on.

As I'm sitting in bath a while later, I realise that I may have to tell Emily about my talk with Santana. You know, not all the details but .. Kind off tell her that I can't be with her until Santana and I have figured out what this all is.

I get out of bath and wrap a towel around my body. I'm thinking about calling her, but maybe it's better to talk to her in person.

I send her a text.

**Me : Talk tomorrow? x**

She instantly sends back and I smile. I like it when people text back quickly, it makes me feel like they don't mind talking to me or something.

**Emily : Sure, what about? xoxo**

**Me : Umm ..**

**Emily : Lemme guess .. Santana?**

**Me : I'm sorry .. but yeah ..**

**Emily : It's okay, we'll talk tomorrow xx**

**Emily : But i have to go right now, dinnertime .. Guess what I'm gonna eat? :)**

I chuckle, I've only known her for such a short time, and yet I know her favourite food.

**Me : Pizza?xx**

**Emily : PIZZAAAAAAH :) but seriously, I have to go .. see ya 2morrow xoxo**

**Me : Byee :)**

When I get downstairs, I see that my parents have just arrived. The hall is full of groceries and I almost trip over a bag with something that looks like salad *but I'm not really sure what it's supposed to be*

My dad walks into the hall and smiles at me. "Help us out, Britty?"

I sigh and pick up the bag with the salad thingy. I carry it to the kitchen and stuff some things in the fridge.

When all the groceries are where they're supposed to be, my mother calls me for dinner.

I sit down and look at my plate.

Not pizza.

* * *

><p>"Hi!"<p>

I almost slam my head against my locker as a voice suddenly shouts in my ear and I let out a little squeek. I turn around.

"Emily! God, you scared me .."

She winks at me "Payback"

I roll my eyes "I didn't scare you when we first met, you told me I probably scared myself more"

"Well, yeah" she smiles. "So what'cha wanna talk about?"

"I uh .." I look up at her. "Please don't be mad .."

She frowns "You didn't sleep with her or something, did you?"

I chuckle "Noo .. Well, yeah .. No" I shake my head and she raises her eyebrows at me. "Nevermind .."

"Okaay .. Then what is it?"

"You see, we had a good talk yesterday and .. Well, we decided that we would just try to figure this out but in the meantime not to make it .. Uh, complicated .." I say quietly.

She nods "So that means I can't kiss you anymore?"

I bite my lip and softly shake my head "I guess not .."

She nods again "Too bad .."

"You're not angry ..?"

"No" she hints a smile at me "It's not like we were really a couple or something .. I get it"

I smile, but then frown at her "But we're still friends, right?"

"Well .. Only if Santana says we can" she chuckles and I softly slap her arm.

"She doesn't decide everything .."

She winks "Ofcourse not, sweety. Whatever floats your goat"

I frown and then burst out laughing "What?!"

She smiles "Nevermind"

* * *

><p><strong>Thoughts? And don't worry, Emily is not going to disappear from the story now<br>**


	29. Chapter 29

It's lunchtime, and for the first time in a week I'm eating with the Cheerios again. I walk up to the table with my tray in my hands, and I instantly receive a glare from Lesley, one of the bitchiest cheerleaders on the team.

I roll my eyes at her. She has nothing on me, she's at the bottom of the piramide. I hint a small smile at Santana, and she pulls out a chair and smiles back. I sit down next to her.

"So .. It's been a while, huh?"

"Yeah .. Sorry"

She shrugs "It's fine. Where's Emily?"

I look up surprised. This is pretty much the first time she has actually called the girl by her name. And she wants to know where she is?

Weird.

I frown "Why'd you ask?"

"I don't know .. Just wondering"

"Okaay .."

Quinn comes to sit with us and she draws Santana's attention. In the meantime a thought comes to my mind.

Where is Emily actually?

I realise I sat with her one time at the Glee table, but the following days I never saw her at lunch.

I'll just ask her later, I guess.

"Britt?"

Santana's voice snaps me back and I turn my head. A bit too quickly. I rub my hand over my neck and raise my eyebrows at her.

"Hmm?"

She chuckles "You okay?"

"Yah .. Yeah I'm fine, what's up?"

"Quinn wants to go to the mall after school, you in?"

Hmm .. Although I don't always like Quinn that much, going to the mall with her is actually fun. And maybe it's good for Santana and I to spend some time together, but not completely alone.

"Okay" I nod "I'll ask my mom later"

Santana smiles brightly "Awesome"

I can't help but to smile back. I curse myself when I realise that the feeling from before is slowly coming back.

I don't want to fall in love again yet. Not yet.

But, I mean, look at her. How can you _not_ love her?

Okay, stupid question, there are a lot of people that absolutely _don't_ love her. But if she would talk to them the way she talks to me, I bet they would swoon.

They would, right?

Gosh, I'm so fucked.

I make a promise to myself to keep myself together. I shall not give in that easily.

But apparently Santana has other plans.

After school and Cheerios practice I'm in Santana's car, on our way to the mall. Quinn decided to take her own car, so that she could just drive home after.

I lean my face against the window and close my eyes for a second.

"Are you tired?"

I look up and hint a small smile. "I'm okay"

"You sure?" She stops at a red light and looks at me "You seem a bit sleepy .. I can take you home if you want to"

I shake my head "No, really, I'm fine"

"Are you sure that you want to go to the mall with us? I know you don't like Quinn that much"

I frown "You know that?"

She chuckles and smiles at me "Do I know that .. Don't you think I would notice that you always roll your eyes when she makes a joke, or that you're always mad at _her_ when we had a fight? It's pretty obvious, Britty"

I blush a bit and looks down "Does she know that?"

"I believe that she does, but she doesn't mind, I think. She never bothers you, does she?"

I softly shake my head, still looking down.

"Hey" I hear her chuckle and she lays her hand on mine. "It's okay, she doesn't care. I think it's sweet that you're trying to be nice to her. I wouldn't be able to do that" she shrugs.

I smile at her "I'm really glad we're friends again, San"

She smiles back sweetly "Yeah, me too"

She softly squeezes my hand and then looks back forward. I keep watching her for the rest of the ride and I know she knows.

I can see her sneaking glances at me and occasionally curling her lips up in an adorable smile.

We arrive at the mall and I see Quinn got there already. She's leaning against a brick wall and is kinda staring in the distance.

Suddenly I frown a bit confused "Is Quinn smoking?"

Santana looks up "What?"

"I asked if Quinn was smoking"

"Oh .. I don't know, that's possible, yeah. Where do you see her?"

I point at Quinn and I can see that the girl now notices me. I see her throwing something *probably a cigaret* on the ground and crushes it with her foot, before walking over to the car.

"Hi"

I roll down the window "Were you smoking?"

Wow.

Very subtle, Britt.

She looks at me with a glare "Does it matter?"

I shrug "Not to me, but coach Sylvester would kill you if she finds out"

"Don't you dare tell her this"

"I wasn't planning to .." I say carefully. Angry Quinn is kind off scaring me right now.

"You better .. She already kicked me off the squad once, she won't be easy on me this time"

I quickly nod "I know"

"Hey" I suddenly hear Santana behind me. "You don't have to scare her like that"

I turn around and hint a smile at her "I'm not scared .."

She smiles back "I know. But Quinn could've just asked you _nicely"_ she says the last words raising an eyebrow at Quinn.

The blonde rolls her eyes. "Fine, sorry, Brittany. Can we just have a fun time at the mall now?"

She steps aside and I get out of the car. She looks over at Santana.

"C'mon, _mom_ .."

Santana laughs at her "You're the one to say"

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><p><strong>Thoughts? <strong>


	30. Chapter 30

**First of all ; MERRY CHRISTMAS! I hope you guys have a good year and happy holidays! Thank you all for reading and reviewing I really really appreciate it!**

**Soo .. Because you guys are so cool and it's Christmas and this is chapter 30 (WHAT?) I'm making this an extra long chapter! Hope you like it and Happy Holidays!**

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><p>"Ooohw what about this?" Santana laughs out. She's holding up a glittery yellow top with a very, very low back cut. I roll my eyes at her and laugh.<p>

"You're crazy"

"But you looove me" She winks.

I internally curse when I feel my cheeks flush pink a bit.

Fuckshit.

Stop it Brittany.

She grins at me, and from the corner of my eye I see Quinn giving us a weird look. Santana apparently noticed too 'cause she suddenly turns around and raises her eyebrows at Quinn.

"What?"

Quinn smirks. "What's going ooon?"

I gulp, but Santana doesn't seem to feel uncomfortable or something at all.

"Nothing, why'd you ask?"

"Oh just because .. You guys suddenly seem so .. I don't know"

I look at Santana, she's smiling at Quinn.

"Next shop!"

I chuckle and we follow her out the store. Quinn links arms with me as we walk out.

"Brittanyyy?"

Shit.

I know what that voice means.

I clear my troath and try my best to show an innocent smile. "Yaah?"

She grins "You suure there's nothing going on between you two?"

I lick my lips really quickly and then look up. "Uhm .. No .."

"You know you can tell me, right?"

I nod and smile awkwardly at her.

She smiles back.

Damn that toothpaste smile.

We see Santana walking into a shoe store and Quinn sighs.

"This is going to take hoouuurs .."

I chuckle "Probably"

While Santana is already trying on a pair of heels, Quinn suggests to get some ice cream.

I frown at her. "Ice cream? It's practically winter."

"It is winter" she answers with a smile "But does that mean we can't eat ice cream anymore?"

I smile "Noo .."

"Well, then let's go!"

I laugh when she pulls me with her.

I told you, going to the mall with this tiny, crazy blonde is actually pretty fun.

I don't know how or why she's different from her normal self here, but she just is.

When I look over my shoulder, I see Santana walking up to us. "We're getting ice cream" I tell her.

She frowns, and then links arms with me on my other side so I'm in the middle. "Ice cream? It's practically winter."

I chuckle "It is"

* * *

><p>After a couple of hours at the mall, Santana is driving me home again.<p>

"Well that was fun" I say.

"Yeah" she looks at me and smiles "It was. You and Quinn seemed to get along though"

"Yeah .. It was okay"

"You kinda freaked when she asked what was going on" Santana laughs.

I look down "Yeah, sorry 'bout that."

She chuckles "Don't worry about it, it was pretty cute"

She winks at me and I feel I'm starting to blush again.

Seriously. This is not helping.

She pulls up in front of my house and looks at me. "We're here"

"Yeah, I know .." I hint a smile at her and suddenly think of something. "I uh .. I spoke to Emily earlier."

She raises her eyebrows at me "You did?"

"Yeah .. I explained it to her and uh .. Told her what you and I had talked about and .. Stuff"

"Oh" she smiles "Okay .. What did she say?"

I shrug "She was okay with it, I guess. She got it"

"That's nice"

"Yeah .."

"Okay, well. I have to go because Elisa is coming over tonight."

"Oh? Really?"

"Yeah, it's the first weekend of Christmas break"

"Right. Gosh, it's almost Christmas again. I guess it really is winter."

She chuckles "Yeah it's weird. But I-"

"-You have to go" I smile "Happy holidays, San"

She smiles as I get out of the car. "You too, Britty"

* * *

><p>I wake up early in the morning with the smell of pancakes and fresh coffee. A smile appears on my face and I take a breath, before slowly opening my eyes.<p>

The sunlight shines through my curtains and priems in my eyes. I hear rummage and voices downstairs and I sit up as I realise what day it is.

It's Christmas.

I jump out of bed and quickly hop downstairs. The Christmas tree is beautifully decorated and the table is packed with a breakfast buffet.

My mother walks into the livingroom and smiles when she notices me.

"You like the tree?"

I smile back and nod "It's perfect" I walk up to her and give her hug. "Merry Christmas, mom"

You might think I am not so fond about my parents, but I do love them very much. They're pretty weird, and they can be very annoying, but they also love me unconditionally. And to me, that's the most important.

"Merry Christmas, honey. Can you help me in the kitchen later?"

I nod "Sure .. But I have to do some other things first."

She smiles at me "Okay, go call Santana. But I'm keeping you on that promise!" she shouts the last words after me as I run out of the room. I go up to my room and quickly grab my phone.

I dial Santana's number and hold the phone to my ear.

_**"Hey Britt!"**_

_**"Merryy Christmaaaaaas!"**_

I hear her laugh_** "Merry Christmas to you too, Britty!"**_

_**"Did you open your presents yet?"**_

_**"No, I'm actually still in bed" **_she chuckles.

I gasp _**"How can you still be in bed on Christmas? It's like, nine o'clock already!"**_

_**"Which is why I am still in bed!"**_

_**"Because it's Christmas?"**_ I say frowning.

She chuckles _**"No, because 9 o'clock is freakin' early."**_

_**"Oh, okay. So what are your plans for the day?"**_

_**"Umm .. I'm going downstairs in a minute, presents and breakfast, aaand around noon I'll be at your house so make sure you're home"**_

_**"Wait, why are you coming over? Don't you have a family party or something?"**_

_**"No .. You'll see! Gotta go babe, see ya later"**_

_**"But ..-"**_

_**"-Oh! And wish your parents happy holidays from us!"**_

I wanted to reply, but the next second I already hear the beep, she has ended the call.

I frown. Santana never comes over on Christmas day. I call her every year, and we exchange gifts a day or two later. But on Christmas day? No ..

We've actually called a lot of times this week, mostly late at night. Not like, late-night-phone-sex, but just .. Y'know. Talking.

I have talked to Emily a couple of times too, but mostly just via text. We're still fine, she even wanted to meet up with me. See a movie or something.

I'd like that. I really want to get to know her better.

I go downstairs, open my presents (OMG I GOT A CAT), have breakfast and at 12.32 the doorbell rings.

I swing the door open with a smile "You're late"

She winks at me "Just fashionably late"

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><p><strong>Aight guys I'm gonna wrap it up here, more Christmas brittana soon!<strong>


	31. Chapter 31

**OMG BRITTANA ENGAGEMENT TODAY AAHH MY BABIES**

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><p>I smile at her. She's wearing a purple fluffy Christmas sweater with carousel horses on it, and she looks adorable.<p>

"Well, can I come in?" she jokes. I chuckle "Sure"

I step aside and she walks in. When I hear rummage in the kitchen, I quickly grab her hand and pull her upstairs. She laughs when we get to my room.

"What was that for? You got something to hide?"

I show an awkward smile. "My mom is counting on me to help her with dinner, I don't want her to ask you to help to.." I look up and raise an eyebrow "'Cause she will"

"Aww" she laughs "You know I wouldn't mind .. But anyway, that's not why I'm here."

"Yeah, why are you here?"

Her lips curl up in an adorable smile and I can't help but to grin back.

"I wanted to give you your present early"

I frown "Really? Why?"

"Because it couldn't wait, duuh .."

She sits down on my bed and takes her bag. She opens it and carefully takes out a giant package. It's wrapped in bright red paper with funny reindeers and Christmas trees, and I can see there is something written on the paper. I gasp as she hands it to me, and smile when she shyly looks down. I sit down next to her on the bed, and slowly remove the pink ribbon of the present. A big, goofy smile spreads across my face as I read the words.

_"Dear Britt-Britt,_

_I wanted to give you this, finally, after all these years. We've been friends for such a long time and I know we will be by each other's side for so much longer. I love you, Britty, you're my best friend for ever and ever. Kisses, Santana xxxx"_

I nudge my arm to hers, causing her to look up at me. "You're the sweetest" I smile. She mumbles that I haven't even opened the present yet and I give her a quick peck on her cheek. "I love it already"

She shows a dorky smile and bites her lip when I carefully peal off the tape and remove the paper. I glance up frowning when a giant, old book appears in my hands. Then I notice there is a sticker in the right corner of the black cover.

Wait a minute ... I recognize that sticker.

I look up at her and she smiles and I know what she means. I know what this is.

This isn't just any book.

The sticker has two princesses on it, and in a shaky, childish handwriting, there is written_ "Britt and Sanny"_ next to them. There is a little strip of tape over it, so it wouldn't fall off.

I can't believe this.

She softly bumps my arm. "Open it!"

I smile, and carefully open the book. On the first page, there is a little text again, written in a nicer handwriting, fluent, with a pen.

_"Brittany Pierce and Santana Lopez. Pictures and memories."_

Our horrible yearbook pictures are placed right below our names_._

I smile at the memory of us two in year 1 of middle school. In the beginning, the first week, she totally hated my guts. But then the teachers made us sit next to each other in class, and it was probably the best thing that ever happened to both of us.

I turn the page. Our very first picture. I remember this day, it was the first day we met up after school. We went to the park for ice cream and had the best time. I flip through the book and notice there is always a date and a place written next to the photos. I smile at her when I see the picture of the two of us on the beach. That was a .. Rather interesting weekend.

She chuckles "You remember that?"

I grin "I sure do"

She shifts a bit closer to me and smiles hopefully. "You .. Do you like it?"

I look up from our very first Cheerios picture and smile sweetly.

"I absolutely love it .. But there is one problem though."

Her face goes from proud and happy to instant panic in half a second. "What's the problem?"

I show a little smile "There is no way I'll find you a present that is at least as good as this .." I say, shaking my head.

"You don't have to" she smiles "I'm just happy to have you in my life"

I smirk at her "Wow, when did you become a romantic?"

She smiles shyly "I dunno" she mumbles. "Sorry ..?"

I sigh softly, wrap my arm around her shoulder and pull her closer into my embrace. She glances up, then buries her face in my hair. I feel her relax and I can't help the smile spreading across my face and the slight blush covering my cheeks. When I suddenly think about what's happening, and what I am feeling, my eyes widen and I gulp. She slowly looks up at me again, and my expression softens.

"Is something wrong?" she asks frowning.

I hint a smile at her. "Nope, it's all good.."

When her little smile melts my heart, I let go of her, lie down on my bed and let her cuddle up to me. When her hair tickles my nose, and I slowly let my thumb caress her soft skin, I just know.

The thought, the feeling is back again. This time, I don't freak out.

I am in love, and I'm okay with it. Because she's in love with me too.

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><p><strong>Thoughts? <strong>


	32. Chapter 32

I'm slowly drifting away, Santana in my arms, when I hear her softly calling my name. I open my eyes and smile. "Yeah?"

"Your mom is calling us, I think."

"Oh"

I sit up and look at her. "We should probably go downstairs, I guess .."

"Yeah .. I should get home soon too .."

I hint a smile at her. "Thank you .. For the present"

"You're welcome" she smiles shyly, and out of the corner of my eyes, I see her hand laying in between us, palm up.

I she discreetly telling me to take her hand?

Or something?

She doesn't notice that I noticed, and I see her slowly moving her hand closer to me.

I smile at her, and she looks up surprised as I take her hand in mine and lock our fingers together. The little smile appearing on her face melts my heart. Santana has these moments, when suddenly she let's all of her guards down, and you can just see right through her, read the emotions of her face.

I love those moments.

"Brittany?"

"Yaas" I answer smiling.

"Uhm .. I need to ask you something"

I cross my legs beneath me, and hold her hand in my lap. "Okay"

"You .. You like me, right?"

I feel my cheeks flustering pink and I look down. "Um ..I guess I do .."

I look at her and show a small smile.

She hints a smile back. "I guess I like you too"

I can't help a bright smile spreading across my face, she's so adorable.

I shuffle a bit closer, and use my free hand to tuck her hair behind her ear. She shyly looks up at me, and I smile sweetly, before leaning in and softly kissing her lips.

She lets go off my hand when I move away, and pulls me back by my neck, kissing me again. She deepens the kiss, but after a few seconds slowly pulls away, and looks down shyly.

She clears her troat and smiles awkwardly.

"Sorry .."


End file.
